why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
