Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
