Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
