Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
