At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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