I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize