So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
