Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
