and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
