Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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