Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
