I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
