i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize