At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
