I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
