I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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