She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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