I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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