was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize