You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
