So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
my liver is dry heaving
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
