Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
