Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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