Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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