he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
