she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
