dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
