I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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