If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
