We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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