i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
