alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
