I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
