I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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