Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You made out with two different species that night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
