I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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