My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
