sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize