i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
where am i from again
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
