Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
