Sponge bath it is.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
