hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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