He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
