Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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