At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
only you would photoshop your dick
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
