UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
