What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize