he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
