I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
