I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
