another moral hangover. fuck.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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