She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
