God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
