distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
