Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she told me i tasted like america
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
