i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
