its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
