There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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