First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He felt like a one man threesome
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
