If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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