youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
