Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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