How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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