Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize