I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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