Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
