I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
